Augusta, Georgia – A third-year medical student at Medical College of Georgia received overwhelming praise from administration last week for his unexpected capacity to not be in the way.
“We were just blown away by how naturally it came to him,” commented Dr. Zachary Greco. “At first we thought he was just a chair or table or something, but then we realized it was just because he was getting in our way so much less than his classmates.”
Ryan Johnson, an Augusta native, says that he is unsure how he developed the talent.
“I mean, I spent all summer really cramming basic science for the USMLE…but I guess little by little, the isolation was really teaching me how to blend into the background.”
Ryan’s surgical preceptor was especially vocal about his unique skill-set. “I wish all students would follow the lead of this young man. This is literally the first student that I have ever not hated. The first one! And I’ve been teaching students for over thirty years!” His excitement was palpable.
Ryan tells us that he never expected to be so good at something as a third-year student. When pressed for more details on how other students could work to be less in the way, he was genuinely at a loss. “I really can’t tell you how I keep coming into the hospital every day and be not in the way for fourteen to sixteen hours. I guess I’ll need to look a little deeper inside to find the answers.” He tells us that one day he hopes to teach future generations of medical students to be as little of an inconvenience as he has become.
Although the attention has been mostly positive, not everyone is particularly happy about the revelation. “I’m pretty convinced he’s cheating somehow”, said George Mint, a jealous classmate. “I’ve known him since first-year, and I’ve never seen him stay out of the way like he is this year. There’s something fishy about how good he’s gotten in such a short amount of time.”
Fishy or not, Ryan looks to be commended by faculty in the form of a kindly-worded email later this year. Naturally, he is modest about all of the recent acclaim.
“I don’t do it for the pats on the back. I do it because getting out of the way is my calling, and it helps me get yelled at less.”
Andrew J. Jones is a third-year medical student based out of the Augusta campus. His interests include history, science fiction, space travel, obscure television series, B movies, and playing musical instruments by ear.
1 comments:
this is fantastic hahaha
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